Welcome to 2010

Wednesday, January 6

There's a new reason to stay fit in 2010. Normally, it's anticipation of resort season that creates the impetus for dieting and weight loss in mid-winter. But this year, it's different. New urgency has been imparted with the initiation of body-scanning, coming to an airport near you.

The new scans are so anatomically accurate that they're bound to induce self-consciousness among the less-than-fit set. Each and every curve and contour of your body is revealed, introducing major embarrassment potential every time you fly.

Listeners have been asking me whether the technology poses unacceptable X-ray risks each time you clear security. The manufacturer's web site is a little vague, but TSA reassures us that the exposure is equivalent to 1/1000 of an X-ray--so they say.

But let's look on the bright side. Maybe we can convert this nuisance into a health boon. Surely, we're trying to "bend the curve" on health care costs in this country--with or without Obamacare, our resources will be stretched.

Maybe, just maybe, we could accompany each screening with a little health reminder. For example, "Thank you, you are cleared for boarding, but security cameras have discerned a higher than optimal fat-to-lean ratio with a preponderance of abdominal adiposity. Please see a health professional to make sure you're not at risk for diabetes or heart disease, and begin a program of diet and exercise to lose weight."

Better yet, what to do with all those disgruntled doctors who will be dropping out of Medicare once cost controls hit their bottom lines? Employ them alongside TSA screeners to dispense health advice to longitudinally-challenged passengers. Voila!--a national security and health care fix rolled into one.

Happy New Year!